Personal Traits of Unsafe People.
1. Unsafe people think they "have it all together" instead of admitting
their weaknesses.
James 5:16, Ecclesiastes 4:10.
Their friends will:
a. Feel disconnected
b. Feel ‘one down’ or weaker than they actually are.
c. Feel dependent on the ‘strong’ one while perhaps feeling anger and
hostility about it.
d. Feel the need to compete to reverse the role.
2. Unsafe people are religious instead of having
a right spirit. Luke 18:10-14
a. They do not identify with others as fellow sinners.
b. This sets up comparison, competitive strivings, defensiveness, and
alienation.
c. They ‘project’ onto others, unable to own their own flaws. Matthew
7:3-5
3. Unsafe people are defensive instead of open to feedback. Proverbs
9:7-9, Matthew 18:15-17
4. Unsafe people only apologize instead of changing their behavior.
Luke 3:7-9
5. Unsafe people
a. do not admit that they have problems or think that can solve the
problem themselves.
b. do not confess when they have wronged someone.
c. do not forgive people who have hurt them.
d. avoid facing relationship problems directly and openly.
e. do not hunger and thirst for righteousness.
f. treat others with a lack of empathy.
g. are not open to confrontation.
h. are not in the process of learning and growing.
i. blame other people for their problems.
j. do not want to share their problems with others to help them grow.
6. Unsafe people demand trust, instead of earning it. John 10:37-38
a. If we are truly trustworthy, we would welcome questioning of our
‘trustability.’
b. If we are truly serious about growing, we want to know if we are
doing wrong. Ps.139:23-24
c. Beware of those who are more concerned with being mistrusted than
about what they possibly did to earn that mistrust.
7. Unsafe people blame others instead of taking responsibility. Genesis
3:12-13
8. Unsafe people lie instead of telling the truth.
We are all decievers to some degree. The difference between
safe and unsafe liars is that safe people own their lies and see them as
a problem to change as they become aware of their deception.
9. No one is perfect. What we are basically talking about here is honesty
in relationship.
10. A Christian life is a process. We are saved, are being saved,
and will be saved.